Archive for jake “the kid” knigge

some more portland photos

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2009 by terry

my new inversion table.  this is how i get buff and also how i get high as hell.  scientists prove that if you flood your brain with blood you get high.  its like super thc but legal.  also it makes your wiener bigger without dick pills so its really like the best of both worlds cause you get high and have a big wiener for babes to sit on while you are high.

chris is showing how big his wiener got after hanging on that inversion table for like 10 minutes.  pros like me stack four to five hours in an inverted position for maximum results.
heres some babes we saw in portland. dave chapelle was supposed to do a free show in pioneer place but after standing there for a half hour and having to listen to jocks yell in my ear and chant ‘wheres dave’ i was over it so we left.  apparently chapelle didn’t start tellin jokes until like 1:30?????? way to go portland planning.  oh yeah if you ever thing that the place you live is cool or progressive or something just go to whatever free show is playing that weekend and realize that your town has the capacity to suck dick too.
the girl on the left is telling the girl in the yellow about inversion tables and how sweet they are and the girl on the right is like ‘no freakin way’ and chris lambert is shooting me dirty looks cause he knows that they will not be impressed by his gravity assisted boner now that they know our secret.
look how fast kyle looks.  kyle said he had two babes lined up that we could hang out with but then  i asked him about it later and he said they were sleeping.  way 2 go casanova!!!!!
knigge and andrew saw the midnight showing of harry potter and guess what?????? it sucked!!!!!  it was full of dads and lil 12 year old girls or something who knows i dont watch those crappy movies, you know why??? cause MAGIC ISN’T REAL.  WIZARDS ARE GAY unless they are the cool wizards who just turn douchebags into toads and stuff.  if i could turn people into toads you better believe the dickhead population of the united states would drop immensely and that flys would go extinct in like 3 years.
i made kyle this party hat out of my fresh pineapple and he did a lil chiquita dance.  you guys might not know this, but i consider myself a bit of a loner.  i tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.  but when kyle put that pineapple hat on i knew he was one of my own.  and my wolfpack?  it grew by one.  there were two of us in the wolf pack.  i was alone first in the pack, and then kyle joined in later.  and later that night when andrew and knigge left i felt a empty space in my heart and thought ‘wait a second, could it be?’  and now i know for sure.  i just added two more guys to my wolf pack.  four of us wolves, running around in the forest together, in government camp, looking for strippers and cocaine.
at one point over the inbetween i had THIZ FACE written in sharpie on my knuckles and i was ordering a sandwich at a safeway and the counter woman was all ‘oh are you with the church group?’ and im all ‘AW HELL NAW’ will smith style and then later she says ‘what’s that written on your hand’ and i had to make up some excuse about how my friends wrote my nickname on my hands the other day and then she laughed and made me an excellent sandwich.  cool story.
andrew assembling a somewhat crispy.  its like 4 feet wide cause he skates weirdo mega tranny dogg boards that ride like you’re getting towed behind a boat but theyre freakin awesome for filmer decks
just incase yalls were wondering jsak still sucks.  just throwin that in there.

shopping habits

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 18, 2009 by terry

kyle bought a hungry man dinner that he microwaved and threw away after three bites, a bag of lifesavers jelly beans, a thing of reese’s cups, a 2 liter of mountain dew, and some other candy I think

knigge bought some sort of hippy dippy iced tea I think and a giant crumb cake

andrew bought one of those drinks that you buy after a night of getting shitfaced because you convince yourself that if you drink 3 strawberries and a peach in smoothie form it makes up for all the awful shit you did to your body the night before.  well, guess what, brainiac, it doesn’t.  besides andrew doesn’t drink anyway so i don’t know why he got it in the first place.  moving on…

i got two dozen eggs, a loaf of garlic clove bread, two cans of OJ, a fresh pineapple, a half pound of pepper bacon, and three plantains for platanos

Everybody loves backies

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on June 20, 2009 by tdkyle

Come by High Cascade Snowboard Camp this summer and you might be able to catch jake do two of these in one air on a board!