A Shitty Interview With Whitney Wells…..


I decided I am going to do some interviews of my friends that have potential. I couldn’t think of a better person to start with than Whitney Wells until I read his answers. He is a local Denver skateboarder who is on the verge of “Making It”. He lost his virginity 2 years ago and hasn’t had sex in a year. He just got on Vans and is going to go on tour with them pretty soon or at least he “thinks so.” Below is his interview. I guess it can only go up from here. Check out the shops blog that Whitney works at….its www.thedenvershop.com. There is always some entertaining stuff on it.

I don’t know if Whitney was born with a hatchet but it appears that he’s down with the clown regardless

What’s your full name and why did your Mom name you after Whitney Houston? Is it because you were a crack baby?

Thomas Whitney Wells…and no I ain’t no crack baby. I am named after a dude, ya asshole.

Remember that one time last weekend when you came over and we were playing that stupid game and you wrote niggaflip.com on the piece of paper and no one wanted to say nigga, because all my friends grew up in a mountain town and only one black kid went to our school? Were you offended when my annoying really drunk friend yelled “Niggerflip.com” really loud? Were you only half mad because you are only half black?

I just know how to contain my anger, on my way home I broke a bunch of car windows and punted a few babies cause I was pissed at the white man.

Will you have a part in the new Denver Shop video or are you gonna blow it? Just kidding, I actually heard from Murph that you have a ton of shit locked up.

Most likely blow it. I’ve gotten one clip all this year. So looks like I’ll be in the bonus or some shit. Fuck it. Murph was lyin’. (Ed. note: He probably is sitting on shit.)

I stole this from thedenvershop.com deal with it

When do you have time to film what with your busy schedule of two jobs, macking on girls, and facebook?

Facebook is just a lifestyle bro. And I don’t mack on girls, they mack on me! SIKE! I just try to fit skating in whenever I can. (Ed. note: What a fucking horrible answer)

Who are you skating for these days? What’s your favorite sponsor?

The Denver Shop, Vans, Elm, RVCA, and I get random shit from Deluxe. The shop and Vans are my favorite, cause I love shoes and Tony’s tight! (Ed. note: Notice he didn’t say Elm is his favorite even though I just got him on the team last week.)

What’s the best thing that has ever come out off Tony’s mouth?

“Those titties say LA, but that ass says Texas!” I love that quote, might get it tatted.

Did you grow up in the hood your whole life? How do you feel about people like me (white, young, middle class) that are moving into your hood and pushing the culture out?

Yeah hood life my whole life! I like the white folk, cause they just make the value of my house go up that much more. (Ed. note: When Whitney says “his” house, he means his mom’s. He still lives at home.)

here’s another photo shamelessly stolen from facebook

Do you remember when you were playing skate and focused your board and half the board flew up and hit me in the shin and i couldn’t walk right for a week?

Nope. Must have slipped my mind. You probably deserved it. (Whitney doesn’t remember because he didn’t even notice.)

Why do you drink 32 oz bottles of High Life as opposed to 40 oz bottles of King Cobra? Is it because you are mostly white?

No and no. High life tastes better then that shit and CO doesn’t carry high life 40’s. (terrible terry note: fuck you pat you can’t lose with thirty-twos bitch that’s what’s up)

Who’s your favorite Colorado Skateboarder?….dont say Justin Shardy….Im sick of hearing about how good he is. I know that.

Umm…Justin Christopher Shardy and David Reyes. Duh.

Anything else you want to add? Shout outs? Call outs? Something to say to the ladies?

Thanks to all the family I have, and thanks to everyone that’s helped me up until this point. GTOTR! And doubt anyone is going to read this bullshit. Peace out faggeeet. (ed. note: GTOTR stands for good times on the regs. I don’t think I have ever seen Whitney have a good time. He is always the most pissed off person around. (terrible terry note: pat obviously doesn’t spend that much time with hondo.))

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4 Responses to “A Shitty Interview With Whitney Wells…..”

  1. Whitney Wells Says:

    I forgot to add RVCA to my sponsors…dumb ass. That’s what I get for answering these questions on the bus.

  2. whitney is the shit and so is shardy both 10 times tighter than all these dumb ass utah hipster go snowboard stop tryin to be a skater

  3. Patdarep Says:

    Hey Jimmy. Chill out now. Whitney is one of my best buds. I agree he is the best. Also what I was gettig at with the Shardy comment was a round about compliment. He obviously is everybody’s favorite Colorado skateboarder. Also I’m not from Utah and I skate way more than I snowboard.

  4. pat your cool… but all these lame as snowboarders stealing skateboarders steez just really bums me out

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