if you have this old url bookmarked or have been wondering why there hasn’t been anything updated in forever then you probably don’t know that we changed over the URL to a new blog. from here on out just go to thedirtykids.com.
watch this first;
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Autotune the News
This ones for T.R.P.J.
Just another dumb bud light hat right?
Wrong its just another dumb bud light hat WITH a bottle opener. NBD.
This is the second shirt made by Blaze and Sage and the rest of the [NARK] s you can find it at wal-mart
If your trying to impress a chick right now i suggest you get her one of these looks like the gold business is at a all time low
I saw these bags at the airport last week… I think Collin Tucker must have been doing some traveling.
Camps gotten the best of me this summer and it turned my hair gray.
Danny scanz with a week supply of sun flower seeds.
I would never eat anything with dirty in the title.
Shane Wright sat down to the hottest girl he could find at the airport. This girl works at Victoria’s Secret and she just turned 18.
Jed got a giant banner on Patterson House here in govy. Don’t try to steal it you might get tackled by nurse greg.
The camp bags this year come with a rain cover pretty neat eh?
My sister has my dog wearing polo shirts now.
My old neighbors in SLC got their garage door all tagged up.
The diggers didn’t get this memo.
This bird is dead.
This post sucked.
Those were the photos from my Phone.
THE VOTES ARE IN
And the winner is;
Congratulations Mike Benson and Casey Wrightsman, 34% of the voters prefer watching your videos over talking to Steve Berra, listening to Jereme Rogers’ mixtape, getting pissed on by Gabby or suicide. 19 voters would rather end it all than be subject to any of the aforementioned activities while a solid quarter of the respondents would rather get soaked by the female snowboarding equivalent of this;
The biggest loser of them all is clearly this dipshit;
and his pitiful excuse for a rap career. This whole poll was a big joke but I am being 100% sincere when I say that I would much rather get pissed on than have to listen to Jereme Rogers whisper rap to me about how he was, and I quote, “fuckin’ with da lights on.” I mean obviously I’m not trying to get supersoaked with a bucket of stale urine but given the choice between running that mixtape back to back three times in a row and getting some pee on me I’m going with the pee every time. It’s quick, easy and resolved with a short shower. Unfortunately the same can’t be said about Jereme’s ever-expanding collection of regretful tattoos. He looks like a twelve year old who watched the Deathwish video at a friend’s house then started doodling on himself with a sharpie so he could look hard like Antwan. Unsurprisingly I’m not the only one who thinks this way;
Whoops. If for some reason you want to listen to this guy rap to himself while pissing then blow coke in a bathroom then I guess check out this little gem, too;
Thanks for voting, see you next time.
you’re walking down the street one day minding your own business and suddenly this thing pulls up next to you;
a bunch of guys in ski masks with machine guns jump out, grab you then throw you in the back of the van and take off. they put a burlap sack over your head and take you to their secret headquarters where they walk you to an interrogation room.
they sit you down in a folding chair and pull the sack off your head. as your eyes adjust to the dim light of the room you see a table in front of you and someone sitting in the corner of the room. there’s a discman on the middle of the table, a styrofoam to-go container next to it, a TV on a stand against the wall and two people sitting on a bench in the corner. it turns out that your kidnappers have confused you for someone important with vital information that they want but no explaining will get you out of this one. luckily for you the masked men aren’t complete savages and they’re giving you a choice when it comes to what type of torture they’re going to put you through while trying to extract whatever it is they’re looking for from you. your options are as follows;
LISTEN TO STEVE BERRA EXPLAIN HOW BERRICS UNIFIED IS GOING TO SAVE SKATE SHOPS THEN TALK ABOUT GREAT IT IS BEING A SCIENTOLOGIST
Berra will sit down at the table with you and explain how he will help save your local skateshop by making them pay him a bunch of money to be listed on his website. PRO TIP: Try to fight the urge to point out that he only started caring about independently owned shops around the same time that him and Koston left Active and started selling uninspired Berrics “collabs” out the back of their warehouse pro playground. If you’re lucky he might give you some tips on how to maximize your brand’s profitability by selling shitty “slightly stained” pop culture reference t-shirts for the low low price of $22 USD plus shipping;
or by having other amazing bargains like a $25 single color print white T that looks like it was designed by a bored sixth grader who was messing around with clip art in MS Word during fourth period typing class;
After Berra is done championing himself as the savior of the skate industry he will lecture you on the tenants of his Scientologist faith such as requiring costly payments to advance your standing in the church*, sending death threats to critics of your Church’s practices, and really terrible science fiction.
*now that I think about it there are some similarities to the Berrics Unified. weird..
WATCH EVERY KNIFE SHOW EDIT IN A ROW FOREVER
the goons compiled a playlist of every single knife show edit ever made (minus the magic flashlights one because that’s actually entertaining) and you have to watch all of them back to back and every time the playlist ends the kidnappers take it from the top. you have to watch every single swivel, every single effect, every single appearance of their rat dogs and more mountain high footage than even mountain high locals would ever want to see.
LISTEN TO JEREME ROGERS’ MIXTAPE ON REPEAT
just imagine 50 tracks of this back to back for 24 hours straight
CATCH A GOLDEN SHOWER FROM GABBY
the other person steps out from the darkness and it’s gabby. she’s gonna pee all over you and she’s been drinking coffee and eating asparagus all day. and she’s got a yeast infection. it’s gonna get in your hair and possibly mouth. if you’re a chick then just replace gabby with her alter-ego who digs at windells as pictured above, same scenario.
TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT
the nuclear option: grab the kidnapper’s gun and blow your brains out.